I’ve been, as you all know, struggling with the whole process of “personing” since my diagnosis. I go through phases of thinking 1) that’s ok because cancer and mastectomies and infections are a big deal or 2) I need to get over it and just go back to normal. I feel like I’ve tried a… Continue reading Witness
So, today’s cancer news was less than fun. There’s more, so I’m having a minor follow up procedure to get the last get-able bits. Then there’s the oncologist recommendation to hear. There’s some other stuff, too, that I’m not ready to talk about. Things that are ridiculously embarrassing and frustrating and overwhelming to me at… Continue reading Still the mama
Something that I will never understand is why people judge others based on appearance. I have a few things about me that can make others jump to conclusions, and it frustrates me to no end. For example, I am fat, but I am also not unhealthy. That doesn’t make sense to some people, including […]
Above you see a heavily blurred and effects studio messed-around-with image of my breast. The unaltered area of the photo shows one of the two areas where my doctor, as the nurses said, “dug around inside of” me. It hurts. A chunk of me is gone. My skin is angry and so is my… Continue reading Frick.
I just visited my mom again and my perspective has really changed. I’m not going to be upset about things anymore- or at least I’m going to try. I only have so much control. But this time I was able to stick to that idea, even though there were things that happened that could have… Continue reading A new normal
The other day at work, Husband witnessed the aftermath of what can only be described as a horrific accident. The things he saw, though just a fraction of what was at the scene, shook him to his core. He came home from work shaking and in tears, and his emotional state reminded me that one… Continue reading Not my heroes
Sometimes I think in blog posts the way I thought in status updates when I first joined social media in 2007. In my quiet times, usually when I’m walking around the grocery store or in the shower, I prewrite my next post in my mind. I have a conversation with myself about the quality, ask… Continue reading My grass isn’t greener
They say people are defined by how they respond in the worst of times. The news I got this week definitely qualifies for the worst of times. I continue to be semi-unemployed and did not land a teaching job with the district in which I live. The only district that I saw job openings for.… Continue reading I didn’t respond well
Lately I’ve spent a whole lot of time thinking about all of the things I’m losing when it comes to my mom. When I lost my dad I was very young and, in my childhood perspective and my little memory, I lost him all at once; he was here and then he was gone. My… Continue reading What I can keep
This post will be hard for me to write, but I have loyal readers now and a few have made a request. Also, some events have happened around my loved ones over the past week that have motivated me to share. I know it is hubris to think that my little blog could… Continue reading This is a gift
Elephants in the Room 