When you suddenly “have cancer,” you feel completely different mentally while feeling exactly the same physically. That’s how it was for me, anyway. My lumps (it turns out there were more than one) were discovered on a routine mammogram, so I was not experiencing any sort of symptom before my diagnosis. At Christmas, some… Continue reading Soul food
Today, I had one of those moments. You know the ones, in which everything just sort of happens and falls into place. In which it all feels so decidedly right. In which you feel valued and valuable. I had a prolonged one of those moments, thanks to a fantastically sweet little girl. She’s the little… Continue reading A child’s gift
So, today’s cancer news was less than fun. There’s more, so I’m having a minor follow up procedure to get the last get-able bits. Then there’s the oncologist recommendation to hear. There’s some other stuff, too, that I’m not ready to talk about. Things that are ridiculously embarrassing and frustrating and overwhelming to me at… Continue reading Still the mama
Something that I will never understand is why people judge others based on appearance. I have a few things about me that can make others jump to conclusions, and it frustrates me to no end. For example, I am fat, but I am also not unhealthy. That doesn’t make sense to some people, including […]
Above you see a heavily blurred and effects studio messed-around-with image of my breast. The unaltered area of the photo shows one of the two areas where my doctor, as the nurses said, “dug around inside of” me. It hurts. A chunk of me is gone. My skin is angry and so is my… Continue reading Frick.
When I made the promise to myself to chronicle my cancer experience, I knew it wouldn’t always be easy. This was the day of my surgery- possibly my first surgery, possibly my only surgery. Daughter was scared and began texting me soon after she found out I was awake, so I grabbed my phone, took… Continue reading Cancer is stupid
I really wanted to write something about not cancer and leave it here for today, so I did. If I had to pick something in my house that shows me exactly what my husband and I are like, it would be our chairs. Take a good look at them. We’ve only had them a year… Continue reading Our chairs
One of the most interesting things I have learned in this recently started cancer journey is that shock is not at all what I thought it was. I thought that the experience of “being in shock” was a lot more like the electrical shock you get from walking across a carpet in wooly socks and… Continue reading Shock
The thing Daughter wanted the most for Christmas this year was a microscope. As fortunate people, we were able to make that happen for her and she was beyond thrilled. In a quiet moment on Christmas morning, after she ran outside to gather a few specimens for examination, she and I got to chatting. After… Continue reading Micro views
You may have noticed the lack of blog post on Wednesday, December 21. As I write this it is still that day, and I am patiently waiting in my doctor’s office to find out if I have cancer. I had biopsies on a mass in my breast and on my lymph nodes last week, and… Continue reading The Waiting
Elephants in the Room 