A while ago I wrote a post about how Husband genuinely thinks that the songs he hears on the radio can be a sign from God or the Universe that things are going to be ok. I talked a little about how I envy that in him; being able to find that comfort in any way right now would be so appreciated. Then I sort of realized that it is a conscious decision whether or not I want to not only see but look for these notes from the Universe. It’s like the character of Graham says in the movie, Signs:
People break down into two groups. When they experience something lucky, group number one sees it as more than luck, more than coincidence. They see it as a sign, evidence, that there is someone up there, watching out for them. Group number two sees it as just pure luck. Just a happy turn of chance… For them, the situation is a fifty-fifty. Could be bad, could be good. But deep down, they feel that whatever happens, they’re on their own. And that fills them with fear. Yeah, there are those people. But there’s a whole lot of people in group number one. When they see (things), they’re looking at a miracle. And deep down, they feel that whatever’s going to happen, there will be someone there to help them. And that fills them with hope. See what you have to ask yourself is what kind of person are you? Are you the kind that sees signs, that sees miracles?Or do you believe that people just get lucky? Or, look at the question this way: Is it possible that there are no coincidences? (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0286106/quotes)
I received a message from someone I didn’t know the other day. She introduces herself and is the mother and surrogate mother of two friends from college. Though these friends, from whom I have received a lot of encouragement, love, and support, live across the country from me, the mom is essentially around the corner. She had seen a few comments from one of her daughters to me and realized that I am also the writer of this blog, and she made a decision. She wanted to drop something off at my home in the name of her daughters. I was already feeling touched and overwhelmed.
When I returned from my endocrinologist appointment and errands yesterday I was greeted with a loving gift bag. In it were two beautifully made shawls, one for Daughter and one for me, each made with yarn like clouds. They are warm, cheerful, and made with so much love that you can actually feel it. I’m not even exaggerating. You can feel love in each stitch.
I contacted her again to thank her and tell her that Daughter and I were enjoying them that moment. I used Daughter’s name, which is not very common, and she responded with a huge smile telling me that it is the name of her college roommate and that just hearing it again was a wonderful memory. Again, this is not a common name, like Elizabeth (It’s not crazy uncommon, like Moon Unit, either, but stick with me here).
I didn’t know what it meant, but in that moment it definitely meant something. It was magic. It was a sign. It was the Universe. This was no mere coincidence, this was so much more. Now, I don’t suddenly feel like everything in the many-month-long journey is going to be perfect. I don’t even necessarily feel like it will all be ok. But I feel less alone, and that’s really all I needed in that moment.