It seems like all I’ve been doing these last few months is waiting. I waited for results, waited for various doctors, waited for insurance companies and even more doctors, the waiting never ends. Tomorrow I will finally know when at least some of the waiting will end. I don’t have too much to say about it right now. Im completely full of thoughts and pushed right to the edge of bursting.
I’m at the end of my “whelm” right now.
I know that’s not really a word. You see, an amazing friend of mine, one of two men who I consider like brothers without actually being them, would look at me at the end of a long day or week and, when I asked how he was he would reply, “I am sufficiently whelmed. I am not yet overwhelmed, but I’m close.” That’s where I am.
I’ve been talking a lot more often and more personally with these lovely strangers in mastectomy support groups. They’ve been helping me a lot and it has reduced my anxieties, but I am so ready for my plan. Tomorrow I will find out dates. I will ask the hard questions I need to ask. I will ask the seemingly insignificant questions I need to ask which keep me up at night. I will have at least part of a plan. I anticipate I will sleep better tomorrow night. I hope so. I do not want my whelm to overflow.