I’m a dreamer. I don’t mean that in a sweet John Lennon sort of way but more in a “when I fall asleep I have very vivid dreams.” I hadn’t had them in a while, though, except for the occasional nightmare. I wasn’t really concerned about it. I mean, I had a lot of scary stuff going on in my life. It was a perfectly normal manifestation of that stress to have nightmares about losing limbs, losing Husband, not being able to breathe, etc.
Then, this morning, I realized that I’m dreaming again. Long, pointless dreams with no one in particular about nothing specifically. Not nightmares, but silly dreams. When I wake up, I remember them briefly and often chuckle. People from my past as well as people I’ve invented have been popping in and out of my plotless nighttime stories, saying hello and asking me questions. And then, after a few moments, they’re gone, washed away with my shampoo in the shower.
I got to wondering why I was dreaming again after such a lull. Was it just that I was remembering them now when I wasn’t before? And why would I remember the ones that had no real point? But I realized, I’ve also been waking up feeling much more refreshed lately. Husband’s snore and recently diagnosed apnea have not been keeping me up. I get up to use the bathroom still, but fall right back asleep. Why is that happening?
Well, I think I’ve solved it. Dreaming happens when we are more sound asleep. That’s also when I wouldn’t be bothered by the noises around me. I’ve been sleeping harder and better, so I’m dreaming again. All of this corresponds to when I found out that I got my teaching job. I had no idea it was affecting my body the way it was. I always assumed it was other stressors, like cancer. Nope. I just needed to know I was a teacher again.
Falling asleep the night that I found out, I said to Husband, “I get to have my own little people again!” I laughed with tears in my eyes and fell fast asleep. I’m gleefully looking forward to falling asleep from exhaustion beginning mid August. It can’t come soon enough.