Family · Happiness · Life · Marriage

Serious irreverence 

A fabulous reader has been in communication with me and asking for me to post about marriage. She is under the impression that Husband and I have a good one and she’d like to know more about that. I am always happy to oblige if I am able, but it just hasn’t come out right yet. 

Don’t get me wrong: I have a pretty fabulous marriage. Husband and I work hard to keep our marriage a solid one, and it has not been without its stumbles along the way. We’ve been married for almost sixteen years now and I think we’ve done pretty darn well. Still, I struggle to put most of it into words… At least I struggle to put it into original words. I could tell you the tired old statements: I love him more every day; he’s my rock and my anchor; he makes me want to be a better person. Those are all true, but you could hear them from a greeting card. Until I can find the right way to write about my marriage I will leave a short anecdote to speak for me. 

Husband and I do a lot of texting. We both have had jobs in the past from which we could not easily step away so we began the habit then. When we moved we spent several months almost constantly together, so when he went back to work we both had the need to continue sharing the ridiculous mundanities of our lives together. We also have a tendency towards sharp sarcasm and humor. If there’s an inappropriate joke to make, you can bet that one of us will make it. Incidentally, I curse a lot more when I text than in real life. Being a teacher of preteens, I was always an advocate of “there are lots of better ways to say it than with a curse. Also, Shakespeare’s curses are better so use one of them.” Anyway, Husband and I both tend to curse more when texting. 

So, as Husband was coming home from a business trip tonight, I texted to ask where he was in his journey. He replied that he was behind schedule because of “an asston of traffic.” This is also something we do: we create words that describe better than words which exist. I responded to this text the only way I possibly could: “Is that a metric asston?” His reply was riddled with profanity and insults including fun words like “‘Merica” and “commie” and others that I won’t write. I laughed. Hard. 

I realized two very important things in that split second. One, I have many friends who share a first name with Husband and I need to make sure I change his contact so that I don’t accidentally text someone else asking about an asston of traffic. (His contact is now Husband. Dodged a bullet there!) And two, one of the reasons we work so well together is because of the seriousness with which we approach our irreverence. We try to never miss an opportunity to laugh with each other, and it makes every single minute better. 

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