I’ve been avoiding resolutions quite a lot in the past several years. I may have written about it, and I may have made some or made some under a clever new word like “intentions” or something like that. The truth is, resolutions never really sat well with me. Because of what my brain likes to tell me about myself, my past resolutions have always been about losing weight. Sometimes I called them “getting healthy,” or “honoring/respecting my body,” but it was really about making myself smaller so that I could fit in, literally, better. I guess the whole New Year, New You! hype always really bothered me. So, for a while I just refused to be part of the resolution crowd.
This year, though. This year I’m going to make some changes. I finally think I’ve got the whole idea of the resolution figured out for myself, though. It’s not about changing who I am. It’s not about making what I appear to be fit into some sort of designated accepted form. It’s about promising myself that the things I need will happen.
So, what will these amazing resolutions be, then? They probably won’t seem like much to you. They’re not huge and they’re not going to impact a whole lot of people. I really hope they’ll help me with Husband and Daughter, though.
In 2019, I am making a commitment to strengthening my chest muscles. I hurt all the time, and I’ve used it as an excuse to not try to build myself back up. If I hurt anyway, I may as well be strong.
In 2019, I am going to actively seek the good. I am going to be more positive and follow the advice from one of the greatest young adult books ever written, Walk Two Moons, and remind myself to ask, “In the course of a lifetime, what does it matter?”
In 2019, I am going to remind myself that Husband and Daughter are the most important, and I am going to make sure that I honor them with my words and actions. Husband is about to have a big change at work and we will be seeing less of each other, so I need to make sure my actions in the time I have with him show all the love.
Those are my goals. They’re really about me, about my heart. I need them. I hope I’m strong enough to hold myself accountable.
Happy New Year, my dear friends. Thank you for keeping me afloat.