Anxiety · Depression · Family · Life

Out of nowhere

Last night I was sitting in my living room with the animals, silently crying about a lot of things. I’m not good with uncertainty and there is so much around me now that my anxiety and brain in general are getting the better of me. Daughter wasn’t feeling well and woke me up at 3:00 in the morning after I’d been tossing and turning until midnight and by the time I settled back into my bed it was practically time to get up to teach. Add to that my mother failing mentally and my family having to make the decision to take her car away from her and I was sort of a wreck.

So there I am on the couch, pillow on my lap, being watched by the sleepy eyes of two dogs and a cat as I cry an ugly red faced cry, when something catches my eye. Right there in my living room, blinking in a show just for me, is a firefly. It’s so clear and so bright and so exciting. I haven’t seen one in years. Where we lived was just too high and cold, and when we moved we’d missed the season. Whenever we visited we were tucked in before they came out for the night. I simply couldn’t remember the last time I cared about one for me and not for the pleasure of Daughter. 

In that moment, I knew magic. I knew peace and I knew the Universe was telling me, “Take it easy. Take your time. It will all be ok.” Thanks again, Universe. You always show up out of nowhere, just when I need you. 

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