Friendship · Life

Breaking up is hard to do

I’m not sure if it has to do with age or parenthood or some other mysterious force in my life, but I’m a lot more content in my beliefs than I ever used to be. I’m comfortable talking about my connection to the Universe and to my God. I can give you my opinions on political situations and even remain mostly even-tempered about it. I have no issue with my lifestyle choices and the way I raise my child. I’m pretty easy going with a lot of things in life which is something I didn’t really predict. 

This week I found out that I have become someone who cannot tolerate certain beliefs in those close to me. At the risk of losing some readers, I will let you know that I have some very strong opinions about the people in the LGBTQ+ community. Those opinions are that I have empathy and love for them and that I will be an advocate until the day I die. I support all and even identify with some in the community and have very little tolerance for those who don’t. This knowledge was no new discovery for me; the newness came in my action to delete the negativity from my life instead of quietly and passively accepting it. 

I’m a generally quiet human. I laugh out loud at parties, but I don’t tell people that they’re upsetting or hurting me. At least, I didn’t ever before. With the current political climate I made a request on social media to stick to the positive- to raise people up instead of putting them down. That was a bold move for me, and I did it partly to hold myself accountable for the same. Then the transgender bathroom issue came up, and I started to see some things pop up in my feed that I found upsetting. An old friend, someone who had once held a very dear place in my heart, was supporting what I called hate speech, though her words for it are different. I won’t go into details about articles sent to me and positions explained. I will not recount the conversation to attempt to concert me that was handled in a respectful manner on all sides because it really just isn’t that important. When I looked back on the friendship I realized that this was a long time coming. There had been support quietly mentioned regarding honoring businesses who discriminate against others. Small comments were made here and there that I had let fly under my radar. Though I could forgive and hope that some day what I believe to be right would be seen, I decided that my energy could be better spent elsewhere. 

Breaking up with an old friend is not something I took lightly, but it is something I found to be necessary. I think there are more breakups coming. In many of the cases, I will let the people know that it’s not them, it’s me. It’s me because I love myself, my friends, my fellow man enough to break away from anyone who doesn’t practice raising people up. All humans deserve basic human rights to: celebrate their God, love whomever they choose, and perform basic bodily functions where they know they should be. I will not be swayed on this idea and I refuse to allow others to tap into the insecurities of the undereducated masses to misinform and create fear and inequality where none should exist. 

If you read this and are now disheartened by me and my opinions, it’s ok. Break up with me. It’s not you; it’s me. 

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