Cancer · Depression · Grief · Life

My princess moments

A few years ago, one of Daughter’s many princess moments

Husband and I decided to make me get out of the house and took Daughter to see the new Beauty and the Beast movie. I say that we took her to see it because I do not want to admit that I was sort of desperate to see the movie myself. It did not go how I expected. Let me explain.  

As you know, I’m 41 years old and I’m fat. I was fortunate in my youth and got what I wanted out of my time, so I’ve been to my homecoming dances. I went to my proms.  I’ve had a fabulous wedding to my own Prince Charming. I’ve worn pretty dresses (and ugly dresses) and danced my slow dances. I’ve had my princess moments. Nevertheless, there I was in the movie theater crying my eyes out because I will never be a princess again.

How ridiculous is that? I was so upset because I will never be able to look like a princess. Again: 41 and fat. My princess days were probably pretty much over anyway. Regardless, I could not shake my sadness at not being princess material anymore. 

Of course, I pulled myself together and left the movie normally. I hugged Daughter goodnight as Husband sang to her and sent her to bed. Then I cried some more as Husband held me. All of this came after having a long day in which I am certain I did too much and never really had time to rest. I had been feeling so ok, too. I had been out and about all day with one breast, and it didn’t seem to get to me. Until it all did. 

Maybe I won’t ever be a princess again. I guess I’ll need to find something new. 

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One thought on “My princess moments

  1. It is okay if you decide not that you don’t want to be a princess, but if there is one thing art museums teach us, it is that princesses are not all thin or young or even pretty. The only person who limits what you are able to do is you. I would personally suggest having a princess party and inviting everyone who wants to dress up to put on a tiara and eat petit-fours with you. Who is going to stop you? (Look up “brolita” if you don’t think anyone can be a princess.) That all being said, I melted down after playing Mass Effect because my life would never be so interesting. That’s okay, because by the end of the series Shepard has died at least and nearly has a stress-induced nervous breakdown for about half of the third game.

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