Getting sick when you’re sick is sort of complicated. One of my mastectomies has been moved to next week and I’ve been on an antibiotic to keep infections under control before I go under the knife again. Then Daughter, beautiful, funny, horrible immune system Daughter, came down with a killer virus. Fearing the worst, her doctor ran a flu test which, fortunately, was negative. Still, the poor kid is on steroids, an inhaler, a prescription nasal spray, plus over-the-counter cough and fever medications. Much to her irritation, though, the doctor was very concerned about me getting this illness, which of course I have. This was supposed to be her time to get smothered with love and get pampered and I had to go get sick so all we can do is sit on the couch watching Doctor Who together and praying for Husband to get home.

Now that I’m sick, I’m scared about my surgery. There’s all this talk from my surgeon and from my oncologist about the margins still left, the cancer that’s there, and how it needs to come out immediately, but immediately never seems to happen. Will this postpone things even longer? How can we even determine what I will be like next week? I have started to become so frustrated with the scheduling from these professionals. Husband will be with me at the hospital and the next few days at home. My sister will be coming to take care of Daughter on the day of surgery. As of right now, I don’t even know when surgery is! These people have jobs to notify! This has far reaching consequences for others. I’ve already taken off the whole week with my work without giving the customary notice, which does not please them. If I don’t have surgery, not only will I be out my pay but I’ll also have to lose another week down the road.

I’m sorry that I’m not really delivering a message of any kind today. I am just so frustrated and frightened. I have to remember to breathe and remind myself that it will be ok. The Universe is taking care of me…  I hope.