As I was trying to fall asleep last night I whispered to Husband, “I don’t know how to be Cancer Lady.” He told me, “Ok. You don’t have to be Cancer Lady. You have to be Elizabeth. You’re good at it. Besides, Cancer Lady sounds terrible; don’t be her,” and he promptly fell asleep.
That left me thinking about… well… it left me thinking about everything. Is everything the “cancer” something for me now? I had joked with Husband (but was secretly sincere) and repeatedly apologized for having “Cancer Christmas” because it was this shadow over the holiday. It’s all I’m thinking about and all I want to write about. Even though it’s always on my mind, though, I don’t want this to be the “Cancer Blog.” I have to find the things that are apart from this one thing inside of me and let them become important to me again.
I guess for now I have to let it be. For now, I have to let things roll along the way they are and unfold however they do. I am hoping, though, that I will be able to move away from this. I am hoping that I can just be a person with cancer and not the “Cancer Person.” I’m hoping that I will have the cancer but it won’t have me.
Elephants in the Room 
It seems like you are putting to much pressure on yourself to be something specific. I fill my blog with strange stuff about insulin, menus, and occasional rants about video games. Sometimes, it is nothing but menus for months or nothing but blood sugar for months. If that’s what I’m thinking about, then it’s what I write about. Also, it is a really good way to remember things that you may need to refer back to later. Your readers aren’t paying you for a service. Hell, have you read Stephen King’s “On Writing”? We did pay for that, and it was only kind of half about writing. Just be you. If that means that you write about cancer, you are still no more “Cancer Lady” than I am “Blood Sugar Lady”.
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